a knowledge of this story. Science Scholar I consider that a superstition just like religious instruction. Classical Scholar Getting excited. Religious instruction is nothing but lies and nonsense, while this is history and wisdom. Volodia Is religious instruction all nonsense? Classical Scholar Why do you sit there listening to our talk? You can’t understand. Both Boys Hurt. Why shouldn’t we? Volodia Perhaps we understand things better than you do. Classical Scholar Very well. Just be quiet, and don’t interrupt. To the Science Scholar. You say Latin and Greek is of no use in life: but that applies as well to bacteriology, to chemistry, to physics, and astronomy. Why is it necessary to know anything about the distance of the stars, about their size, and all those unnecessary details? Science Scholar Unnecessary? On the contrary, they are very necessary indeed. Classical Scholar What for? Science Scholar Why, for everything. Take navigation. You would think that had not much to do with astronomy. But look at the practical results of science⁠—the way it is applied to agriculture, to medicine, to the industries⁠— Classical Scholar On the other hand, it is used also in making bombs, for purposes of war, and for revolutionary objects as well. If science contributed to the moral improvement, then⁠— Science Scholar But what about your sort of knowledge? Does that raise the moral standard? Volodia Is there any science that makes people better? Classical Scholar I told you not to interfere in the discussions of grown-up people. You say nothing but silly things. Volodia and Petrusha With one voice. Not so silly as you imagine.⁠ ⁠… Just tell us which science teaches people how to be good. Science Scholar There isn’t such a science. Everybody has to find that out for himself. Classical Scholar What is the use of talking to them? They don’t understand. Science Scholar Why not? They might. How to be good, Volodia and Petrusha, is not taught in schools. Volodia Well, if that is not taught, it is no use going to school. Petrusha When we are grown up we will not learn useless things. Volodia As for the right way to live, we’ll do that better than you. Classical Scholar Laughing. Oh, the wisdom of that conclusion!

On Going to Law

  • A Peasant

  • His Wife

  • A Kinswoman

  • Fedia, the peasant’s son, a lad of nineteen

  • Petka, another son, a boy of nine

Father Entering the cottage and taking off his cloak. What beastly weather! I could hardly manage to get home.
Mother And such a long way for you. It must be nearly fifteen miles.
Father Not less than twenty, I can tell you. To his son, Fedia. Take the colt to the stable.
Mother Well, have we won?
Peasant We have not, damn it all. It will never come right.
Kinswoman But what is it all about, cousin? I don’t quite understand.
Peasant It is simply that Averian has taken possession of my vegetable garden and is holding it. And I can’t get at him in the right way.
Wife That lawsuit has been dragging along over a year now.
Kinswoman I know, I know. I remember as far back as Lent, when the matter was before the village court. My man told me it had been settled in your favour.
Peasant That finished it, didn’t it? But Averian appealed to the head of the Zemstvo, 329 and he had the whole business gone into again. I then appealed to the judge and won. That ought to have been the end of it. But it wasn’t. After that he won. Nice sort of judges they are!
Wife What are we to do now?
Peasant I won’t stand his having my property. I will appeal to the higher court, I have already had a talk with a lawyer.
Kinswoman But suppose they take his side in the upper court?
Peasant Then I’ll go to the Supreme Court. I’ll sell my last cow before I’ll give in to that fat hound. I’ll teach him a lesson.
Kinswoman A lot of trouble comes from these trials, a lot of trouble, I declare! And suppose he wins again?
Peasant Then I’ll appeal to the Tsar. Now I had better go out and give the pony some hay. Exit.
Petka Why do they judge like that, some saying Averian is right and some daddy?
Mother Probably because they don’t know who is right themselves.
Petka Then why ask them, if they don’t know?
Mother Because nobody wants to give up his property.
Petka When I grow up, I will do like this: If I have a dispute with somebody, we will cast lots and see who wins. And that will settle it. We always settle it this way with Akulika.
Kinswoman Don’t you think, cousin, that is quite a good way? One sin less, anyhow.
Mother Quite so. What a lot we have spent on that trial! More than the whole vegetable garden is worth. Oh, it is a sin, a great sin!

On the Criminal Court

  • Children: Grishka, Semka, Jishka

Jishka Serves him right. Why did he make his way into another person’s corn loft? When he is put in prison that will teach him not to do it another time.
Semka Of course if he has really done it. But old Mikita said Mitrofan was run into prison without being guilty.
Jishka Without being guilty? And won’t anything happen to the man who judged him falsely?
Grishka Well, they won’t pat him on the head for it, of course. If he hasn’t judged according to law he will be punished too.
Semka Who will punish him?
Jishka Those above him.
Semka Who are above him?
Grishka His superiors.
Jishka And if the superiors also make a mistake?
Grishka There are higher powers above them, and they will be punished by these. That’s what the Tsar is for.
Jishka But if the Tsar judges wrong, who is going to punish him?
Grishka Who? Why do you ask that? Don’t you know?
Semka God will punish him.
Jishka God will also punish him who stole the corn from the loft. Then why not leave it to God to punish those who are guilty? He will not judge wrong.
Grishka It’s